Quit buggin’ me!

A couple of years ago I had to get a scary man in a white boilersuit to come round and destroy the wasps’ nest outside my bedroom window. It was a very messy massacre and I have residual guilt. Now the wasps, damn their stripes, are back. This time they’ve made a nest somewhere I can’t figure out around the back of the house, which means that every time I open my lounge window I get a room full of ginormous stinging critters spoiling for a fight because they can’t find their way home again.

I have to open every window in my flat when the weather warms up, because I live in an attic and I’ll fry otherwise. This could be a very painful summer…

In other annoying and painful news, another foe from the summer of 2007 has returned with a vengeance, too: my sciatica. I had an MRI scan a few weeks ago and my disc has herniated again, which means I’ll more than likely be having more spinal surgery at some point this year (or next year or 2018 or 2027, depending on when the NHS can see me). I’m obviously pretty gutted about this, but the good news is that I’m keeping the pain at bay with exercise and a ridiculous amount of walking – unlike my last bout of sciatica, I can stand up for more than six minutes at a time, yay me! – and I’m hoping this will help in the long run. I’m losing weight, too, and the joy of being up to pull a belt in an extra notch almost counterbalances the pain!

It’s also not too excruciating at the moment, either, merely uncomfortable. I’d rather be ‘uncomfortable’ than on morphine any day of the week, so long may this continue.

So while I contemplate the possiblity of a summer stuck in a boiling hot flat with a horde of angry wasps because I could be in too much pain to go outside, I shall enjoy whatever excuses I DO have to leave the house at the moment. In a few weeks I’ll be heading off to Birmingham for the Asylum 4 Supernatural convention – I’m going by train this year, anxious to avoid a repeat performance of the car crash that ruined last year’s – and I’m hugely excited at the thought of hanging out with my best friends, my not-quite-as-best friends and all the other people I know who’ll be attending. The guests look fun too and, hell, it’s the first time I’ve been anywhere in a year and could be the last time I go anywhere for ages, so I’m going to enjoy it! The show itself has been utterly phenomenal of late, too, so this is the icing on the cake.

Last week I went to see The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers accompanied by the London Philharmonic Orchestra at the Royal Albert Hall. True to form, I blubbed (it’s the violins! I can’t help myself!) and yet again marvelled at how the sight of a live orchestra playing their hearts out in front of you is still less interesting than the sight of Aragorn kicking Orc ass on the giant screen behind them. Mmm…. Aragorn…

I also seem to be writing a lot of silly ‘poetry’. I have no idea why. It just happened. And keeps happening. Sorry about that.

And finally, I had five serpae tetras in my aquarium last week and this week I have six. They’re all the same size, not a baby fish among them. A baby wouldn’t have escaped from all the other baby-chomping fish in the tank, either, or escaped my attention as I sit beside the tank all the time, so quite how I gained an extra fully-grown fish I HAVE NO IDEA.

I feel like someone is playing a trick on me, but I have no idea who or how. It’s those elves from that shoemaker story, isn’t it?

One last thing – how’s this for the bargain of the century?

Men from just a fiver? I’ll have ten!




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2 responses to “Quit buggin’ me!

  1. Lerxst

    Yeah, wasps do seem to have a tendency to come back. I’ve had to destroy three nests over the past 6 years. Fortunately, in my case it’s not been too hard – they were getting into the wall cavity from outside and it just a case of piling up powder on the external airbrick. They then did the rest themselves, carrying the poison back to the nest. Even if you don’t know where the nest is, if you can find a route they use regularly, then you could give the powder a go.

    The more irritating thing I get is thrips, or thunderflies, which are thrown up during harvest time in their millions. If you leave a window open, you end up with all these little black things crawling everywhere.

    Anyway, here’s hoping the sciatica stays at bay and you aren’t back to being confined at home. That really would be a bummer (though I admire your optimism about the summer weather..).

    As for the morphine… really? Hell, some of the best dreams I’ve ever had have been on post-op morphine 🙂

    PS Would it still be a bargain if the men were Steptoe and Alf Garnett?

  2. Nyakuza

    If your windows aren’t too huge, or if you don’t mind just opening smaller ones, you could always make some window filters.

    Filters may be sliiightly too fancy a word for them… just cut some pieces of muslin to size and attach them over the inside window frame using velcro strips. That way its easy to take them on/off so you don’t constantly have fabric stuck up your windows.

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