The SFX Weekender is taking place as I type this. In case you haven’t heard about the event, it’s a huge great honking convention with thousands of attendees, guests and the entire SFX team taking place over two days at a holiday camp in Camber Sands. I couldn’t go due to my finances being in a pathetic state at the moment (Christmas really messes up your payments when you’re a freelancer – once an Accounts department shuts down for the break you can effectively expect no money for six or seven weeks until they clear the backlog of invoices in January… sigh).

The convention appears to be going rather well;  I was following all the Twitter comments earlier before deciding I was fed up of hearing about what I’m missing. To take my mind off it I thought I’d clean out my fish tank, which – if I say so myself – is a particularly awesome fish tank these days. My fish are blissfully happy, it looks great, the plants are thriving and the new shoal of serpae tetras I added yesterday are unfeasibly perky and pretty. Awww.

Unfortunately, in order to filter the gravel in my tank I have to use a special vacuum pump. To get it to work you have to suck the end of a plastic pipe to get the suction going. It’s a tricky maneuver – you really don’t want a mouthful of manky fish-water, so you have to time the suction very delicately and make sure you drop the pipe at the last minute.

And because today has been unbelieveably spectacular, I ended up with a mouthful of manky fish-water not just once but twice.

I can haz new life now pls? This one, quite literally, sucks.



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14 responses to “FML.

  1. Come on The Thumbcast next time then, we’ll cheer you up.

  2. Ruud V

    …fish-water, does that go with red or white meat?
    Or maybe with some fava-beans and some(one’s) liver….?

  3. Lerxst

    Ruud, I think it counts more as a fish stock and so would be best used in a fish soup or pie rather than drunk straight.

    • jaynenelson

      I should probably point out that I’m a vegetarian and I shouldn’t be eating anything fishy at all. Grrr.

      • Lerxst

        Fair enough. You wouldn’t catch me eating seafood either, but that’s just because I think it tastes foul. A nice juicy piece of cow or deer is another thing completely. >:)

        Anyway, if it helps, I’m sure that swallowing a mouthful of water filled with fish crap doesn’t actually count as ‘eating’ anything fishy.

  4. Ruud V

    …oops about the vegetarian thing. I should have remembered…

    In a way it’s good that you didn’t make it to the SFX-thing, because I was considering asking you to maybe see if you could get me Elisabeth Sladen’s autograph. But I didn’t want you to get the idea that I was abusing our friendhip. So, dilemma solved!
    (though I am still autograph-less. Small price to pay of course….)

    • Lerxst


      You could try writing to her c/o the BBC.

      Or alternatively, keep an eye on this place:

      They normally have a few signings a year and will mail items out. I’m pretty sure Liz has done stuff there in the past. (I’ve seen Sir Tom there, but haven’t been to anything in ages – indeed, quite annoyed to realise I missed Louise Jameson and Mary Tamm last year!)

  5. We have a syphon device that you wiggle up and down in the water to generate the suction so no need to risk a mouthful. I’d recomed one next time you have a spare fiver.

  6. Jenna

    next time try filling the tube with water, putting one end in the water and your thumb over the other end and then hold than end lower down, then gravity will syphon the water out for you. never worked for me however but other people at work managed it. I always got mouthfulls of seawater instead.

  7. Lerxst

    Off topic, but look Jayne…

    Now you can have Alan Rickman or Patrick Stewart reciting lines of lurve to you!

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