There’s nothing magical about THIS…

Happy New Decade, everybody! Here’s hoping you all had a lovely Christmas and a great start to 2010!

I want to show off one of my Christmas presents. It’s a Merlin calendar, based on the BBC’s joyous, family-friendly kids’ show. I always get silly calendars for Christmas from my friend Biddy and, seeing as we’re both fans of the show, this was a lovely treat.

Well, I thought it was until I opened it. Look what awaits the unsuspecting owner in February:

Yes, a bloody great spider. Thanks for that, Merlin calendar. Considering that the vast majority of people in the UK are arachnophobes, sticking a giant hairy spider on the page for them to stare at for an entire month was a GREAT idea.

But that’s not all! Look what awaits us in July!

Isn’t that something you’d love to hang on your wall during the sunniest summer month? Of course it is! We all love slimy monsters, don’t we?

And if that’s not enough, check out November:

YES, IT’S THE SPIDER AGAIN! JUST IN CASE IT DIDN’T TURN YOUR STOMACH ENOUGH THE FIRST TIME!

And finally, let’s just take a look at May…

Beetles. For the love of God, BEETLES.

I mean, what the hell were they thinking? There’s so much lovely photography out there and yet these poor calendar designers were obviously only given high-res pictures of hideous monsters and random insects. For every shot of Merlin or Arthur or Gwen or Morgana (and the latter two ladies are beautiful, so how they managed to find bad photos of them is a mystery to me) there’s a crappy CGI thing you don’t want to look at for five minutes, let alone 30 days. Ludicrous!

No offence to Biddy (who also bought me lots of other, better, presents, including the film Moon on DVD), but I went out and bought another calendar today.

Fie on you, Merlin! *shakes fist*

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10 Comments

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10 responses to “There’s nothing magical about THIS…

  1. Lerxst

    July looks like the Shit Demon from Dogma…. nice…

    • jaynenelson

      And I ask again: Would YOU want to look at a Shit Demon for an entire month?

      Jeez.

    • jaynenelson

      Wow. Nice pic! I’m seeing the Wildlife Photographer of the Year exhibition tomorrow – are you in there? πŸ™‚

      • Lerxst

        I wish! That’s an ambition certainly, but at the moment most of my best shots have been done with animals in captivity and the exhibition understandably goes more for ‘genuine’ wildlife – not that that tiger was tame!

        Anyway, enjoy the exhibition. I still need to get along myself, but I know there are some cracking photos in there. There’s also the Landscape Photographer of the Year exhibition on at the National Theatre until the 24th, which has some beautiful work.

  2. Jenni

    Well I got a Hoff calendar for Christmas which is superb! Mind you, depends if you find The Hoff scarier than spiders. I was hoping you were going to show piccies of Prince Arthur with very few clothes on and yes, I know I’m old enough probably to be his mum but I’d still like to lech! πŸ˜‰

    • jaynenelson

      There’s a nice pic of him in April, but that’s it. I can’t lech over any of the guys in Merlin because I really do feel too old. I do lust after Morgana’s outfits though…

  3. Ruud V

    …eventhough I am really into nostalgia nowadays, I don’t have fond memories of the overprized Star Trek calendars I used to buy in the eighties. They usually had one brilliant photo on the cover, and a bunch of dark, crappy, grainy, blow-out-of-proportion photo’s on the inside.
    Sigh, we should have gone for the latest SFX-special that had a calendar with it….

  4. Katherine

    I wish I had a Merlin calendar despite the spiders, beetles and Miss July. I am roughly the same age as the younger members of the cast and so can lech over them (mainly Authur) to my hearts content.

    I had to buy myself a calendar this year because no one thought to buy me one for Christmas. This also meant that there weren’t many left to choose from and I had to go with the best I could find. I am now the proud owner of a Wallace and Gromit calendar, which is quite good except the lack of eye candy. No matter how hard I try I don’t think I will ever find Wallace attractive.

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