Happy New Decade, everybody! Here’s hoping you all had a lovely Christmas and a great start to 2010!
I want to show off one of my Christmas presents. It’s a Merlin calendar, based on the BBC’s joyous, family-friendly kids’ show. I always get silly calendars for Christmas from my friend Biddy and, seeing as we’re both fans of the show, this was a lovely treat.
Well, I thought it was until I opened it. Look what awaits the unsuspecting owner in February:
Yes, a bloody great spider. Thanks for that, Merlin calendar. Considering that the vast majority of people in the UK are arachnophobes, sticking a giant hairy spider on the page for them to stare at for an entire month was a GREAT idea.
But that’s not all! Look what awaits us in July!
Isn’t that something you’d love to hang on your wall during the sunniest summer month? Of course it is! We all love slimy monsters, don’t we?
And if that’s not enough, check out November:
YES, IT’S THE SPIDER AGAIN! JUST IN CASE IT DIDN’T TURN YOUR STOMACH ENOUGH THE FIRST TIME!
And finally, let’s just take a look at May…
Beetles. For the love of God, BEETLES.
I mean, what the hell were they thinking? There’s so much lovely photography out there and yet these poor calendar designers were obviously only given high-res pictures of hideous monsters and random insects. For every shot of Merlin or Arthur or Gwen or Morgana (and the latter two ladies are beautiful, so how they managed to find bad photos of them is a mystery to me) there’s a crappy CGI thing you don’t want to look at for five minutes, let alone 30 days. Ludicrous!
No offence to Biddy (who also bought me lots of other, better, presents, including the film Moon on DVD), but I went out and bought another calendar today.
Fie on you, Merlin! *shakes fist*