I have much to say, so I thought bullet points would be a nice idea for a change. They make my comments look much more… well, professional. Like slipping an essay into a plastic binder, or using a staple instead of a paper clip. Maybe you agree. Maybe you don’t. Whatever you think, here they come…
- Buy this month’s Total Film. Go on. It’s a great issue, and it just so happens to contain a big feature about The Lord of the Rings which was written by yours truly.
- What? I’m not allowed to self-pimp on my own blog?
- I’ve started keeping tropical fish. They are surprisingly intelligent and seem to know who I am, and they also get very excited when they see me because they think I’m going to feed them, which makes me feel as though we have some kind of bond. Okay, so they’re not quite as cute as kittens, but they’ll do.
- I started watching The Mentalist. I really don’t like the lead guy (Patrick Jane) but the show’s not bad.
- I also started watching Castle. I really like the lead guy (Richard Castle) but the show’s pretty poor.
- The Mentalist and Castle are essentially EXACTLY THE SAME SHOW WITH DIFFERENT CASTS. It’s creepy.
- I hate Twitter. It’s clunky, pig-ugly, counter-intuitive (seriously, can anybody use it without having to ask a friend what to do?) and it spams you with porn.
- I appear to be addicted to it. Twitter, that is, not the porn.
- I blame http://twitter.com/qikipedia, the Tweets from the Elves who put together all the information for the BBC show QI; they’re fascinating. And I also blame http://twitter.com/TW1TTERTRACKER, run by The Tonight Show, which re-Tweets banal messages from celebrities and pokes fun at how “exciting” they are. And I mostly blame http://twitter.com/mishacollins, who has taken Twitter to an entire new level by whipping up an alternate reality in which he’s either imprisoned in Guantanamo Bay, being held for treason by Her Majesty the Queen or crawling through the desert to bring down the corrupt government of Iran. The fact that he’s posting pictures of himself and his friends living out these fantasies makes his Tweets all the more amazing.
- I went to Oxford the first time the other day and visited the Museum of Natural History. They had a kakapo! And the building was glorious and sort of steampunkish and also quite similar to London’s Natural History Museum in its architecture, which is a good thing, because London’s Natural History Museum is my favourite building in the whole world. It absolutely rocked!
Also, Oxford is beautiful:
- I seem to have been the only person in the world who liked Terminator Salvation. Oh well, it’s not like I’m a film critic who needs people to respect and trust my opinion or anything.
- Wait, hang on…
- For the record: in this month’s SFX, the contents page suggests that I “love Chris Pine”. I would like to say that I love him as Kirk. I do not love him in any other way. I know this sounds silly, but I have so many celebrity crushes that being accused of having a crush on a celebrity I don’t actually have a crush on seems insulting. In fact, I’d like to state for the record that I don’t have a crush on anybody in the new Star Trek movie at all, okay? Not even Karl Urban. (Although I will admit to having had a crush on him in the past. So he sort of counts, I suppose.)
- I do, however, have a crush on Rafael Nadal, and now he’s pulled out of Wimbledon I am major-league sulking, because I was actually going to watch it this year. Dammit.
And I think that’s about it for the bullet points for today.