So today I went to London Zoo with my best friend Paul and his mum to celebrate his birthday.
I got to stroke a couple of polecats and look a sloth right in the eyes without any glass between us and giggled at the otters and awwwwwed at the meerkats and scared a pygmy marmoset and learnt far too much about bonobo chimps from a random zoologist guy who popped up from nowhere and lectured me for 15 minutes about all sorts of things random zoologist guys who hang out at London Zoo know.
Then Paul, Sandra and I had a meal in the cafe, and when we were done Paul turned to me and said, “I wanna see a lemur now!” And just by chance I had a cuddly toy lemur in my bag, freshly bought from the gift shop, and I whipped it out and went, “Will this do?” And we both laughed so much we cried.
The whole time Paul’s mum was sitting there looking at us and thinking, “My son. He’s 37 and he’s laughing at a cuddly lemur.”
Poor Sandra. Still, we enjoyed ourselves.