Monthly Archives: September 2008

Avast, Me Hearties! Arrrrrrr!

Arrrrr! I might have missed “International Talk Like A Pirate Day” last week (I WILL remember next year, although I’ve been telling myself that since it started) but, by way of compensation, today I discovered that you can get Facebook to talk like a pirate too. So now I’m all about the treasure and the sea shanties and the walking of the plank and the, uh, jolly rogers. Arrrrr!

It’s great fun, my laddies, so if you’re a Facebook crewmember get your scurvy selves to the ‘Languages’ section on the bottom of your homepage and set it to ‘English (Pirate)’. If not I’ll set my cutlass to cuttin’ ya to pieces of eight! Arrrrr!

In other (slightly saner) news, I’d like to thank everybody for their wonderful advice, comments and suggestions about my current spate of nightmares – which, sadly, continue unabated. Thankfully I’m not so tired this week, but my brain seems to have reached its limit for thinking up new dreams so now I’m repeating old ones. The biggest culprits are “I’m moving house and it’s chaos!” followed by “I have an exam and I haven’t revised!” How terribly cliched. I’m quite disappointed with my subconscious. And I’m also disappointed my subconscious hasn’t grown bored with subjecting me to such nonsense every goddamn night for eight weeks.

Just give it a rest, brain!

But seriously, to all the people who left comments or emailed me: thank you. I shall let you know when the nightmares end. Watch this space… hopefully not for another two months.

In the meantime, I have one day left at work and then on Wednesday I’m flying off to Venice for my birthday – hurrah! It’ll probably be the last time I go anywhere for a while as I have a tax bill on the way (currently being calculated by my accountant, and ohmygod I can’t believe I’m at the stage of my life where I have an accountant for Chrissakes). It looks as though it’s going to rain the whole time I’m there, but I don’t mind: I’m there to see the architecture, not to sunbathe. It should be great!

Vague New US TV Season Spoilers Below!

Meanwhile, and for those who read this blog because they want to hear me talk about TV stuff, I should mention that I really enjoyed the first two episodes of Heroes (who knew Mohinder had a chest like that under all those shirts?) and I love the direction the storyline this year seems to be taking. I also had no idea how much I’d missed Hiro’s happy little face and declarations of “It’s my destiny!” until I saw him again. Ah, Hiro. You bring hope to us all.

I’m quite enjoying the Smallville reboot, too, but maybe that’s because I always hated Lana and was deathly bored of Lex, and it’s great that they’re not in it any more. The Sarah Connor Chronicles opened with an absolutely magnificent episode but seems to be struggling now (and it’s struggling in the ratings, too). And, most importantly of all, Supernatural‘s season opener was so good that I absolutely can’t stop thinking about it, which is a bit of a bugger when I’m supposed to be working. If you open next month’s issue of DVD & Blu-ray Review and find the word “Castiel” randomly inserted into somebody’s review… well, I’m just going to whistle and look innocent. And possibly say “Arrrrr!” to throw you off the scent.

Next stop: Venice, relaxation and, hopefully, sweet dreams. We’ll see…



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Dream Myself Alive

Do you ever get to the point where you’re so tired that you don’t even have the energy to go to bed?

That’s me, right now. Sitting on the sofa. I want a drink, I need to turn off the TV, my feet are cold, I have chocolate on my fingers from the pain au chocolat I just ate which is going all over Shep’s keyboard, I need to clean my teeth and I really, desperately, painfully want to go to bed. And I’m too tired to do any of it.

I’ve had nightmares for seven weeks in a row now. Every. Goddamn. Night.

I have no idea why. I’ve had nightmares about moving house, exams, shopping, monsters, planes, spiders, trees, the sea, crazy landladies, rabid dogs and even Aaron Eckhart in The Dark Knight (when he was Harvey Dent, not Two-Face, which I really resent because I adored Harvey Dent until he turned up in my nightmare and did something horrible).

I’ve had two nights off: one night in which I dreamt of nothing, slept straight through and woke up feeling wonderful, and another in which I had a lovely dream about somebody,* woke up, fell asleep and then another lovely dream about somebody else.**

But other than those two exceptions, I’ve had nightmares solidly for 47 out of 49 nights.

The only good thing is that despite the fact I’ve been waking up three times every night for seven weeks straight, I haven’t felt the effects the next day. Until this week, at least: it’s finally started to catch up with me. Now, after almost two months of nightmaring, I am The Girl Who Is Too Tired To Get Up Off The Sofa And Climb Into The Bed That’s Just Ten Feet Away.

What I want to know is this:


Does anybody know what causes nightmares? How I can get rid of them? And how the hell I can stop dreaming horrible things and start dreaming about kittens and otters and kakapos?

I’ll dig out a prize to anybody who can help. At least, I would if I wasn’t too tired to get off this sofa.


* Someone from a TV show.
** Someone from another TV show. I’m nothing if not predictable.


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Worlds Colliding

A drive-by post as I’m supposed to be working…

I just watched actor Dominic West and David Simon, the creator of The Wire, chatting to BBC Breakfast News about the show, each of them expressing amazement at the fact that after five seasons the series has finally become a ‘cult’ hit thanks to word of mouth.The show’s presenters kept mentioning that it’s Barack Obama’s favourite show and that everybody they know keeps asking them, “Have you seen The Wire yet?” like it’s a club they should belong to.

Straight after the interview, they cut to the weather report in the Blue Peter garden.

Which got me thinking: The Wire and Blue Peter exist in the same universe. How is that even possible?


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Genius in song form

Link: Battlestar Galactica like you’ve never heard it before.


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Wednesday, September 10, 2008 · 9:01 pm

Michael Palin For Vice-President!

Look how PERFECT he’d be!


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Samebrainity! (Or should that be “sametrainity”?)

I was re-reading Neil Gaiman’s wonderful American Gods on the train home from work tonight when I noticed the woman sitting in front in me was reading American Gods, too.

“Snap!” I said, making her jump, and then she saw the book I was waving at her and laughed.

“What do you think of it?” she asked.

“It’s excellent,” I replied. “You?”

“Oh, it’s awesome!”

And then, because the book really is that good, we both nodded at each other, bent our heads and carried on reading like the junkies we are.

Reading. It brings people together!

Sort of.


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