Day 50: Zombie Chocolapyse

Y’know, the one thing about being stuck indoors 24/7 is that you get a lot of visitors. However, when these visitors always turn up with bars of chocolate or tubs of ice cream or boxes of doughnuts, you find that you start putting on weight, particularly when exercise is supremely painful and therefore impossible, and you’re so bored you eat all the junk food because it seems wrong to waste it and, what the hell, it takes bloody lovely.

So, uh, yes. I’ve put on three pounds. Which I guess isn’t bad considering I haven’t done anything in nearly two months, but still… bugger.

(I’m also getting a bit fed up of chocolate. Tomorrow’s visitor has been instructed to bring me bananas and apples, goddammit! Who knew I’d ever start craving fruit?)

I don’t know if it’s all the chocolate, but last night I had a horrible nightmare about being eaten alive by zombies. Up until my 20s I had terrifying recurring nightmares about tidal waves – so bad, in fact, I couldn’t even watch a movie which had big waves in it – but after the Asian tsunami I guess I became immune to the sight of huge walls of water because they were on the news all the time. So now I have recurring nightmares about zombies, which I prefer because, hey, zombies aren’t real, but they’re still scary and they’ve prevented me from watching films like Shaun Of The Dead, which sucks. Last night’s dream was so nasty that I couldn’t even eat my breakfast this morning. (Although, thanks to the weight I’ve put on, that’s kind of a good thing.)

I’m hoping tonight I dream of fluffy kittens. This evening both cats curled up on my feet and watched Michael Palin’s latest travel series with me; they’re devout TV fans and really enjoy his work. Let’s hope this spills into my sleep, shall we?

(For proof, here’s a photo of Joss watching Michael Palin’s Around The World In 80 Days, taken last week. I’m thinking of introducing him to Monty Python next.)

And yes, this isn’t the world’s most interesting post. I just wanted to use the phrase “zombie chocolapyse” in the title, really. Sorry.

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3 Comments

Filed under Michael Palin

3 responses to “Day 50: Zombie Chocolapyse

  1. neil h

    Best. Title. Ever!

    I think you should write an SFX column with that title as well.

  2. Jayne Nelson

    Looking back, I should’ve called it ‘Zombie A-Chocolypse”, but it’s too late now..

  3. Lerxst

    Cute. But spooky how Michael appears to be watching the cat…

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