Monthly Archives: August 2007

Kitten Kaboodle

Okay, well, things aren’t so good right now. Until I get my spinal surgery (and my doctor is currently hurrying that along, bless him), I’m completely housebound. I can just about make it downstairs to the front door – handy when Tesco deliver my food – but venturing outside is far too painful. I’ve had to give up going to work; it’s a good job I can work from home, eh?

I should be feeling quite sorry for myself, particularly as my sciatica is now starting to hurt when I sit down (my worst nightmare). However, the arrival of two 12-week-old kittens will do wonders for your mood…

I’m fostering them until they’re homed, which I don’t think will be long because kittens are in demand and these ones are simply adorable. Nobody could resist them! They’re so much fun I can hardly believe it: chasing their tails, pouncing, scampering, purring, leaping around, eating my plants (ahem) and generally making life a million times better. Kittens – the best medicine!

And, because I’m a big kid, I’ve named them Dean and Sam. Their new owners will no doubt choose their own names, but they’re Dean and Sam to me.

Gotta go. They’re destroying my quilt…

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Heroes Season Two Promo

It’s a thing of beauty…

(Oh, and excuse me for stating the bleedin’ obvious, but don’t watch it if you haven’t seen all of season one yet. It’s not spoilery, but there are certain characters in it who might ruin things for you…)

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Bloody Bleedin’ Hell!

I just watched the final episode of Prison Break‘s first season.

I had fingernails an hour ago.

I don’t any more.

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Girls Will Be Girls…

Earlier today at work, I walked up to my friend Denise’s desk and waved a teabag at her.

“Hey Denise,” I said. “Can I give you this pear and apple teabag in exchange for one of your cranberry, strawberry and peach ones?”

“Sure,” said Denise. “Here you go.”

It wasn’t until I got back to my desk that it occurred to me just how frightfully girly that was.

I feel… dirty, somehow. Soon I’ll be talking about shoes and shopping and makeup.

Right. Time to watch Prison Break. Seeing an innocent inmate getting his toes lopped off should bring me back down to earth with a bump. Phew!

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Jayne Gets A Break (Or Two) At Last!

I had a hospital appointment yesterday and, after eight months of excruciating pain, phsyiotherapy, weight loss, acupuncture, pilates exercise and a steroid injection in my back under general anaesthetic, I FINALLY had the joy of hearing my surgeon say, “Well, you can’t go on like this, can you?”

Which means I’m going to have surgery! Woohoo!

He didn’t seem to think it would take too long to get a date for it, although the words “too long” with the NHS could be anything from a week to three months. No idea. Should know very soon. However, I don’t care, because there’s a CURE and I’m GETTING IT and at some point I will be able to WALK AGAIN!

So I’m a bit happy at the moment. Who knew the offer of serious spinal surgery would bring me sunshine?

Due to my overwhelming being stuck-in-the-houseness I’ve been watching lots of DVDs. This week I finally got round to watching season one of Prison Break and I’m so addicted every spare minute is being eaten up by Wentworth Miller, Dominic “I starred in John Doe, you know” Purcell and their cohorts. I’m loving it so much I’m thinking of getting a tattoo. Possibly not one like Michael’s, though… it might be a bit extreme:

Plus I think my boobs might ruin the artistic effect. Oh well.

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Potter Puppet Pals

Somebody emailed me this link last night and I laughed so much my glasses steamed up. Apparently 10 million people have already viewed it, so apologies if you’ve seen it already!

Oh, and turn your sound up…

Potter Puppet Pals In ‘The Mysterious Ticking Noise’!

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Ghosts, Albinos And Buttcracks

I watched Ghost Rider over the weekend and loved it.

I feel slightly guilty for loving it, though, kind of like I feel when I think about how much I love The Scorpion King or Hercules: The Legendary Journeys or (whisper it) seaQuest DSV (God, I can’t believe I just admitted that in public). They’re celebrations of stupidity, the lot of ’em; big piles of cheesy guff that aren’t trying to be anything other than daft entertainment. There’s not a malicious, cynical bone in Ghost Rider‘s body. It’s exactly what you expect it to be: a movie in which Nicolas Cage rides a big flaming motorcycle with his head on fire. The cheese in his case is well and truly melted.

I also watched The Da Vinci Code, which I thought I’d hate, because I loathed the book so much I left it on a train in disgust after reading two chapters. (The description of one character, Silas, as a “hulking albino” will haunt my dreams forever as a prime example of terrible writing. Terrible in that it was written in all seriousness, unlike my other favourite example of terrible writing, seaQuest‘s glorious: “You must leave here! You’re in imminent peril!”, uttered as Commander Ford tries to clear people off an island about to be attacked by a giant lizard. Class!)

Anyway, back to the point: flashbacks and overblown soundtrack aside, I actually quite enjoyed The Da Vinci Code. It was a bloody good story, which explains why the book was such a hit in the first place; if you can excuse the awful prose, Dan Brown really knows how to spin a yarn. I did think Tom Hanks was hugely miscast, though, and I couldn’t understand a word Audrey Tautou said, and I’m still reeling from the sight of Paul Bettany’s buttocks. I’m glad I hadn’t seen that film before I interviewed him last year because I wouldn’t have been able to look him in the eye.

And speaking of buttocks: I saw Ray Winstone’s botty cheeks on Friday, not to mention Angelina Jolie’s, in glorious 3-D. I’m still not sure if they were real buttocks or not but they were part of the 20-minute preview of Beowulf Warner Bros kindly displayed to a room full of journos looking silly in coloured specs. What a strange 20 minutes they were, too… I’m really not sure what I thought of what we saw, possibly because it was out of context, so I need to see the rest of the film to figure it out. It certainly looked amazing, there was some brilliant phallic imagery (always a Brucie bonus) and there’s a scene between Winstone’s Beowulf and Jolie’s monster that will stay with me for a while. But I’m still on the fence with this one, I think. Bring on the rest of the movie so I can make my mind up!

Beowulf is released in November, so if you want to check out Ray or Angie’s bottoms for yourself, you’ve got a bit of a wait. Sorry and all that.

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