IT’S OFFICIAL: I Am The Saddest Saddo In Sadsville.

I blame my Aunty Mary.

It’s all her bloody fault.

When I was a kid – a wee, corruptible, EASY TO INFLUENCE kid – my Aunty Mary lent me an album which, I’ve come to realise, is to blame for the fact that I have absolutely no musical street cred whatsoever. I may be 35, but the legacy of that unfortunate album lingers on.

Yes. Thanks to my Aunty Mary, there are now 20 Barry Manilow songs on my iPod.

Alright, so maybe Take That made him a little bit cool when they released “Could It Be Magic”. And hopefully most people reading this already know that David Boreanaz’s Angel loved a bit of Barry during karaoke night. But he’s still BARRY MANILOW, and he’s still really sad, and I can’t believe I’m a fan. Not a big, must-have-every-album fan… just enough of a fan to know all his classics off by heart. Which is bad enough.

Then again, poor Barry does get a lot of stick when he’s actually quite a cool guy. Somewhere in my possession is a creaky old cassette tape containing one of his live shows, during which he tells the crowd, “How y’all doin’ up there at the back? You’re all so far away – I must look like a little singing, dancing nose!”

When I added the Manilow songs to my iPod I sent my Aunty Mary an accusatory text message.

“I still love him!” she replied. “Although his face has gone a bit funny nowadays.”

I have to say, she’s got a point…

… but I still love him. He writes the songs, you see.



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10 responses to “IT’S OFFICIAL: I Am The Saddest Saddo In Sadsville.

  1. Talia

    I won’t make ‘Fan-ilow’ jokes just yet, but any more mention of him and I might just have to…

  2. Jamie Starbuck

    And you write for SFX?? I don’t know wether to congratulate you on furthering your adventures in geekdom or write to Dave Bradley demanding your removal nee burning.

  3. Lerxst

    What’s worse you didn’t even mention either of the two Manilow-related songs that are forgiveable: Not The Nine O’Clock News’s ‘Wet and Lonely’ or ‘Star Wars Cantina’.

    “Her name was Leia,
    She was a princess,
    With a danish on each ear,
    And Darth Vader drawing near……”


  4. Ruud Visser

    I think everybody has things hidden in their music-collections.
    If you dig deep into my CD-collection, you will eventually find my hidden stash of Dolly Dots CD’s.
    Same for my vinyl. Deep down there are my Olivia Newton John albums (they are hidden behind the Debby Gibson LP)…..
    Nothing to be ashamed of. As soon as mr. Tarantino uses Mandy in one of his films, or Barry records a song with The Young Ones, he will be trendy cool again…

  5. brideofthebookgod

    Even sadder than that is to download Donny Osmond singing Mandy, thus doubling the potential embarrassment (it’s really good though…..)

  6. Charlee

    Hello there! This actually has nothing to do with your post and I apologize for barging in and posting randomly but I just had to thank you.

    I’m the one who did The Supernatural Laundry List that you mentioned in you latest article in SFX magazine. A fellow member of fandom directed me here from Livejournal so that I could thank you personally. I have spent that last two hours bouncing off the walls and I have a headache now from smiling so much. Seeing that article made my day.

    (And if your curious? The Laundry List was started after I noticed that Supernatural was the only show I noticed where the characters didn’t have an endless wardrobe of designer clothing. It has spiraled from there.)

  7. Jayne Nelson

    Hey Charlee!

    Thanks for getting in touch – but I think I should be thanking YOU, because that Laundry List made me laugh like a crazy person. It just had to have a whole column dedicated to it!

    I’m so glad you saw the piece… and that you didn’t think I was making fun of you in any way, cos I wasn’t. It’s just a perfect example of why I love fandom. And Supernatural fandom most of all. It rawks!

    Keep watching the clothes…

    Jayne x

  8. Crimsonyte

    Don’t worry Jayne, I’m far sadder than you! I’ve actually been to see Bazza a few times – the first time I enjoyed it so much that I bought returns for the next night and went again!

  9. The Lady of Prime Time Pleasure

    Yeah his face is funny. In that pic he sort of reminds me of Morla the Ancient One (tortoise thing from The NeverEnding Story).

  10. Jayne Nelson

    Oh my god! He so IS that tortoise! Well-spotted!

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