That Bloody Jayne Nelson Gets Everywhere

I’m freelancing on Total Film for the next week or so. I walked into the office this morning and before I could even take off my coat I was greeted by one of my colleagues pointing an accusing finger at me and squawking loudly, “You woke me up last night, you hussy!”

Nonplussed, I managed a confused “Eh?” before he informed me he’d been just about to fall asleep at the end of the day when the sound of my voice woke him up with a jolt. For a shocked moment he thought I was right there in bed with him, before realising I was speaking from his TV and hadn’t somehow materialised alongside his jim-jam-clad form. “Gave me a right start,” he said. “There you were in my room, and there I was in bed!”

(Naturally we used the situation to our advantage, managing to wind up a few innocent souls who heard us saying we’d been in bed together and proceeded to get the wrong end of the TV aerial. Would’ve been rude not to, really.)

Anyway, I was surprised because I’d had no idea I was on BBC2 last night, although when I checked my emails I had a message from my friend Gold Anne informing me she’d been surprised to spy me, too, and then people kept stopping by my desk all day to tell me they also saw me, and it finally culminated with me going to the pub after work and meeting someone I haven’t seen in six months and them greeting me with an amused yell of, “I SAW YOU ON TV LAST NIGHT!”

The moral of this story is: if you appear as a talking head on a show on one of the BBC’s digital channels, chances are you’ll end up on terrestrial TV eventually. Who knew a show about parallel worlds in science fiction would prove so popular? Jeez.

In other news: Neil Finn was spotted 20ft from my office the day before yesterday. “I came to find you, but you weren’t in, were you?” the spotter informed me today. I’m touched that he knew I liked Neil, but I can’t help but wonder what on earth he thought I’d do with the news – go out with a butterfly net and snag myself a singer?

Honestly. Like I could’ve carried him home…


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