With Apologies To Morecambe & Wise

I was on the phone to my friend Andy last night when this happened:

Me: You know, I think that…

[Pauses and waits for the wailing siren of a passing police car to die down]

Me: He won’t sell much ice cream going at that speed.

Boom boom! Though it wasn’t as funny as when Eric Morecambe said it, but hey-ho. Anyway, an hour or so later I was on the phone to my friend Paul when this happened:

Paul: And then they said…

[Pauses and waits for the wailing siren of a passing police car to die down]

Me: He won’t sell much ice cream going at that speed.

Boom boom again!

Except that this time was a little awkward, because a few minutes later another police car wailed away outside my window and, a few minutes after that, what sounded like an ambulance turned up. Eventually I looked out of the window and realised to my horror that an ambulance and two police cars were sitting in the road outside and three paramedics were performing what looked suspiciously like chest compressions on a man lying prone on the pavement.

I hung up on Paul then, feeling really bad that I’d cracked a joke about the police cars when someone was dying outside my window.

Then I called him back ten minutes later when it became clear that the paramedics hadn’t been performing CPR but actually holding the guy down because he was drunk as a skunk and violent and needed four people to throw him in the back of a police van.

I’m sure there’s a moral to this story, but I’m buggered if I can think of one.

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “With Apologies To Morecambe & Wise

  1. neil h

    If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry …

  2. Clair

    Best. Joke. Ever.

    Read their scriptwriter Eddie Braben’s book The Book What I Wrote. It’s full of jokes like that.

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