Well, I lived through my week from Hell and barely had a second to myself (though I did manage to attend my own leaving party, which was quite a result, I thought, considering the latest issue of Total Film wasn’t quite finished and the deadline pixies were getting annoyed). Then, just as things calmed down – temporarily, I should add, because all that is Hellish awaits me this week, too – my broadband connection at home completely died and I had no internet.
For five days.
Five long, painful, withdrawal-symptom filled days.
I think now I have an inkling of what heroin addicts go through when they give up the drugs. I was climbing the frickin’ walls! And if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my forced internet drought, it’s that I’d rather lose television or music or telephones but oh my god never the internet. Never. It rules me.
Yes, I am the internet’s bitch.
I was forced to call my friend Biddy and get her to check my emails as I listened down the phone. She rummaged through my Hotmail account, read out messages and announced, “I feel like I’m going through your knicker drawer,” which must have really confused her fiance when he wandered by just as she said it. When my connection was finally re-established (and in the nick of time, too, because I was beginning to hallucinate and see bugs crawling through my veins), I called her up and yelled down the phone, “It’s back! I got it!” To which she replied, “I know. I felt a great disturbance in the Force.”
So I’m back, but I’m busy for the next five days, then I leave Total Film and move on to other projects I can’t discuss here because they’re not finalised yet and I don’t want to jinx myself. And it’s Christmas, too, so everything’s all festive and wonderful. See below? See Trafalgar Square? Isn’t it pretty? This was taken on Friday night and I only wish you could hear the carollers under the tree… though they were having problems getting their voices heard over all the people screaming when the wind changed direction and blew fountain spray across the square.
Not so much ‘Silent Night’ as ‘Soggy Night’, really.