I interviewed a film director one morning last week and then went to the doctor straight afterwards with an earache in my left ear.
As you do.
“Hmm,” the doctor mused, peering into my right ear thoughtfully, despite me telling her there was nothing going on in that lobe. “Nasty.”
“Oh,” I said.
Then she took a look in my left ear. “Hmm,” she muttered. “Angry.”
So now I have an unexplained infection in both my ears, items of my anatomy I’ve since nicknamed Angry and Nasty for easy reference. Angry has been very angry indeed but Nasty has packed his bags and left, as so he bloody well should after all the antibiotics I’ve been taking. The worst thing about this whole affair (other than the deafness and pain, obviously) has been the fact I can’t drink milk with the pills, so my coffee intake has suffered a calamitous drop-off.
Jayne no happy without her coffee beans.
I took a day off work to recover from my ear grumbles and the fact the pills made me sleepy (or that could have been the lack of coffee). To cheer myself up, I watched a gay slasher movie called Hellbent.
Yes, you did read that right: a gay slasher movie.
One of my friends thought I’d like it because a) it’s full of cute guys, b) it’s very funny and c) it’s got a kind of Supernatural vibe to it (two of the characters are a little reminiscent of Dean and Sam Winchester, except Dean and Sam Winchester don’t snog in Supernatural like they do in this, because they’re brothers and that would be all wrong and Wincesty. Urgh).
And my friend was right: I did like Hellbent. I freakin’ loved it! I thought it would be camp and stupid and fluffy but instead it was assured, fresh and utterly hysterical. It’s not really scary but it’s certainly different, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen a horror film in which I’ve actually cared about the characters before. It has a twisted sense of humour too, best expressed by one of the actors on the DVD Making Of when he explains that the murderer is “the personification of evil. But hot evil!”
And how often do you watch a slasher flick which has four gay men (dressed as a cop, a cowboy, an S&M freak and a drag queen) mooning the killer?
Hellbent. Buy it now on DVD. If you don’t laugh like a drain, I’ll send the personification of hot evil round to see you with his scythe. That’s his scythe in the picture below.
Incidentally: movie serial killers chasing cute, half-naked men? There is no bad in that.