You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Seen A Guy On Stage Pretend To Be An AT-AT With Two Sink Plungers

I went to see The Reduced Shakespeare Company perform all six Star Wars movies in 20 minutes the other night.

Funny? Oh god, yes…

Before the show even started the Criterion Theatre was filled with Stormtroopers, a very convincing Darth Vader (who wagged his finger at me in a menacing manner; my bowels haven’t been the same since) and a huge array of Star Wars fans. The event was a one-off production put together by Sky to celebrate their upcoming Star Wars movie season: they’ve filmed it for their website, so check it out when it’s up, because The Reduced Shakespeare Company won’t ever perform it again.

And it’s diabolically funny. They acted out The Phantom Menace (using a South Park doll as Anakin), summed up Attack Of The Clones in a song, explained Revenge Of The Sith using a flip chart (‘Darth Vader = Evil’) and I don’t want to ruin the other films by giving anything away. Just watch the footage. It’s genius, I’m telling you! Genius!

Plus there was the added bonus of seeing the guy wearing a Darth Vader mask on stage flipping V signs at the guy dressed as Darth Vader in the royal box. That took some bloody nerve!

The Stormtroopers milling around the theatre were a cocky bunch, too, telling people off and occasionally throwing someone against a wall and frisking them. Fantastic! Nothing like getting into character, eh, guys? My mate Biddy would’ve loved to have been there – she’s got a thing about Stormtrooper armour. I’m sure she’s not alone, actually, but they’re a bit too shiny for my liking. I like their guns, though, and their crackly little computerised voices. Though two of them chased me at one point and that wasn’t nice. *coughs*

Changing the subject totally, on the train home the train driver made a fuzzy announcement over the intercom: “This train is fully crewed. I repeat, this train is fully crewed.” A couple sitting behind me couldn’t make out what he said and were puzzling over it, so I turned to them and explained, “He told us the train is feeling crude.”

And they flippin’ believed me.


(Not as funny as the conversation I heard on the bus the other night, after we drove by two guys dressed as Smurfs outside a nightclub. A girl behind me cried, “I just saw two Smurfs!” Her friends looked out of the window but the blue furries had gone, so they spent the rest of the journey trying to convince her she’d imagined it as she got more and more frustrated. It would have been soooo easy to pipe up and say I’d seen them too… but I was having too much fun listening to her suffer!)

Finally… the Rolling Stones are playing Twickenham Stadium tonight. I can hear them doing a soundcheck right now as I’m typing, though I can’t make out any words. If I open my lounge window later, and if the wind’s blowing the right way, I should be able to hear them better. Fingers crossed!

Just a few “woowoos” from Sympathy For The Devil will do nicely, guys!


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5 responses to “You Haven’t Lived Until You’ve Seen A Guy On Stage Pretend To Be An AT-AT With Two Sink Plungers

  1. Iain

    Damn, forgot that was on.

    Jayne, you should have got yourself along to the open air Daleks:Invasion Earth 2150AD screening in Walthamstow on Friday. Holding it on a green usually populated with down-and-outs on a Friday night REALLY adds to the atmosphere…

  2. GoldAnne

    snot fair!!!!!

    love Mick Jagger,, stomp swear stomp!!!!!!

  3. Jayne Nelson

    Sorry, Anne.

    He’s on good form tonight though!

  4. GoldAnne

    ohhhh grrrrrrrrrrrr

  5. Raj

    Do you have a link for the Reduced Shakespeare show? I couldn’t find it on either their website nor the Sky website (not that I can find much on that).

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