Okay. I’m emotional because I’ve just watched episode five of Lost‘s second season and now I have to wait three weeks to see the next one. And I’m going to POP!
I’m tired because over the last three days I’ve done all this (deep breath):
1) Visited the Sir John Soanes Museum in Holborn and marvelled at everything from Turner paintings to an Egyptian sarcophagus
2) Went shopping off Oxford Street and bought shoes from a shop I know I will never find again if I live to be a hundred and ten
3) Spent a whole day wandering around the Natural History and Victoria & Albert museums for the second time this month, only this time I saw some creatures pickled in bottles which made me feel a bit funny
4) Checked out the Wildlife Photographer Of The Year exhibition and decided the winning photo, while being rather good, wasn’t as good as at least two others on display and frankly should’ve come third (the sad leopard pic is a killer)
5) Attended a concert at Cadogan Hall by the Crouch End Festival Choir which featured works by Handel, Mozart and some other guy I can’t remember but his stuff was dead pretty
6) Had a meal on a boat moored by Richmond Bridge and shocked the waitress when she overheard me telling a scandalous story about Tom Cruise which I can’t repeat here
7) Strolled around Kew Gardens peering at plants and howling at the glass sculptures by an eyepatch-wearing artist called Chihuly which were wonderful, reminding me strongly of either triffids or something out of The Martian Chronicles
8) Had my friend Dave formally witness and sign the deed poll stating that my name will change from Jayne DEARSLEY to Jayne NELSON – which we did, amusingly, in the cactus house so that I went in a DEARSLEY and came out a NELSON
9) Got the bus home and giggled when an old, grizzled and drunk guy climbed on board and said to the driver, “I’d like a large gin and tonic please, sir!”
10) Watched aforementioned episode of Lost and tried not to POP.
I should point out that I did the Natural History Museum, V&A and Kew Gardens with Dave (my old boss from SFX magazine) and the Sir John Soanes Museum with my friend Thomasina – who afterwards was lucky enough to get into an early screening of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire at Warner Bros headquarters. She couldn’t get me a ticket, sadly, so I had to watch her disappear into the building as I stood outside and peered through the glass like one of those stuffed Garfield toys you used to see in car windows. Then I went home and sulked for my country.
(Incidentally, she says it’s the best film of the bunch – and I’m seeing it on 4 November so I only have to wait two weeks. Woohoo!)
I saw Thomasina last weekend, too, when I went to stay with her at her lovely house in a small village outside Bristol. My best mate Biddy also drove up from Torquay and we ended up having a wicked girlie weekend. I’m ashamed to say that much of our conversation consisted of us enthusing about Harry Potter; so much so, in fact, that we decided to go to Gloucester Cathedral on the Sunday to see all the bits of it that doubled for Hogwarts. Thomasina had been there during some of the filming (she’s a lucky bint, in case you hadn’t guessed) so she knew exactly where to go and what to point at. I mean, it’s easy to guess which wall was scrawled with blood in Chamber Of Secrets but it takes a real expert to point out the window the spiders climbed out of as they fled the basilisk!
She also guided us to the beautiful golden lectern at the back of the church which was used as a model for the one Dumbledore uses in Hogwarts’ Great Hall. In true Harry Potter spirit, Biddy left a sherbert lemon on it for the vicar to find later. Albus would approve.
Anyway, now it’s Sunday night and I’m exhausted. In addition to all this I’ve also worked like a bastard on the latest issue of Total Film, with this month’s deadline being the most relentless one I’ve ever known in my life. Our Art Editor worked out that he averages four days’ unpaid overtime every month, which means that I’m not far behind. Hmm… this journalism lark is wonderful, but I don’t know how much more I can take!
Then again, you do get perks. Seeing Goblet Of Fire two weeks early is my perk this month. Oh, that and chatting to Harry himself. It kind of makes working till 11pm at night a little more bearable.
Crikey. It’s just hit me. I’d love a sherbet lemon right now…