Three pointless ramblings for you.
(Two of them rather sexist and smutty – be warned)
I had a text conversation with Biddy as I sat on the train to work yesterday. I was thinking about the two new episodes of Lost I’d watched the night before and texted her to say I think I’ve got the hots for Sawyer (Josh Holloway). I’ve resisted his allure for ages because I like Sayid (Naveen Andrews), but I’ve finally crumbled. I think it’s the fact that he spent a whole episode soaking wet with his shirt open.
“Hmm,” Biddy replied. “Sawyer strikes me as being very swarthy for a blond.”
“He’s not a natural blond,” I returned. “At least, I don’t think so. Hang on, now I’m sitting in a crowded carriage thinking about his pubes. This is weird.”
Biddy texted back: “I’m making tea for everyone in my office and thinking the same.”
I’m glad I didn’t have to drink that tea.
One of my co-workers walked in on me the other day as I was making myself a cuppa in our office kitchen. He looked me up and down thoughtfully.
“You know, I’ve been watching you,” he said. “Watching the way you do things. I really like the way you act.”
I frowned at him. “Huh?”
“You’re really methodical,” he continued. “You set your mind on a task and you don’t stop until it’s finished. You have everything organised – your desk, your work, the way you make a cup of tea. You don’t rush. I like it.”
I grinned. “Well, thank you.”
“In fact, you remind me of someone.”
“Yeah. Jason Voorhees from Friday The 13th. He never rushes. He stalks his victims methodically. Single-mindedly. You know that no matter how fast they run, he’ll never run after them. He takes his time and you know he’ll get there in the end. A bit like you.”
I had absolutely no idea what to say to him for the rest of the day.
As I write this, Ricky Martin is on TV talking about his new album. “It’s a global journey,” he’s saying. “It’s about the singularities and the similarities of cultures.”
Man, he’s dull. But he’s wearing very tight jeans and sitting with his legs open.
I love Ricky so much.