“That’ll be two crowns and thruppence, missus.”

I had to go to my local sorting office yesterday to pick up a parcel I needed to pay customs duty on (an occupational hazard when you buy so many DVDs from the USA). When I pulled out my card to pay the £12 fee, the guy behind the counter looked rather embarrassed.
Post Office Guy: [...]

Tea and Sympathy

This is what happens when you pick up a takeaway cup of very hot black tea in the cafe at Future Publishing’s London office and the lid isn’t on tightly enough so you end up spilling scalding water all over yourself.
What also happens is that you get first-aided by about nine different people because it [...]

This is my last post about fish, honest guv’nor!

I’m becoming a fish bore, so I’m shutting up about my finned friends after this. But seeing as I got so many comments on my post bemoaning the fact that I wanted to give my tank a makeover, I thought you might like to see the results!
I went with a ‘Monument Valley’ theme in the [...]

This is what happens when I purchase fish

Friendly man at the tropical fish store: “Wow, how can you possibly be in such a good mood on a miserable Sunday afternoon?”
Me: “It’s because whenever I leave the house to buy fish I always make sure I snort a lot of coke first. It really helps take the edge off.”
Friendly man at the tropical [...]